This morning I woke up thinking about the interview and the things that came out of it. The more I thought about it the more I realized the awesome journey my life has been. It got me thinking about writing down the stories in a book (a small book) and prompted me to write a short intro to the book. I wanted to share that with you so I have attached it here. I am grateful for the opportunity you gave me to share my story, or at least parts of it. – Caroline/Kaho'iwai
The Journey to Find – Myself
INTRODUCTION
I am one of those people who envy others who can recall their childhood. You see, I have few, if any memories of my childhood until the sixth grade. Although I remember some of my elementary teachers’ names and the layout of my elementary school, I do not remember classes or students or any work that we did. I remember my parents and my siblings within the context of our home, and the kids on our street with whom we played. Very few specific moments, events, adventures; a day at the beach with the family, our old cars, playing hide-n-seek with the neighbor kids.
In 6th grade my teachers convinced my parents to allow me to apply to a private school where I would find more challenges in my education. I was accepted to the school and remember feeling proud and happy at my new school. Still, I did not feel like I fit in well with the other kids. One would say that I flourished at this school, and I did. I was an academic success, but a social nothing. During high school I began stretching myself to do things that were not expected of a poor kid from Kalihi, a not so affluent but highly diverse neighborhood on Oahu. Since then, I have had many adventures, some of them handed to me, some of them by default due to my inaction, and others that I intentionally pursued.
Recently I was interviewed for a project conducted by Small Town Big Art here in Wailuku, Maui. Although I was not sure what I could contribute to the project that was aimed at collecting “sense of place” stories, by the time I left the nearly one-hour interview, lots of thoughts were floating in my mind. This morning, as I lay in bed during that period of drifting thoughts, I realized that my interview responses were really describing my life’s journey to find myself, to be in a place where I was comfortable in the skin I was born in and proud of the genes I had inherited. Someone once observed that I managed to change something in my life roughly every five years. As I thought about my interview and the stories I told there, I realized that I have spent my life trying on different “skins” and being different aspects of myself, all in search of an environment that would not only allow me to be who I truly am, but one that would also nurture me as I live and continue to grow. Some might say I was searching for an environment that would allow me to “live up to my potential”.
In the end, I must acknowledge that the many twists and turns in my life were merely touchstones along my journey. Positive, uplifting, and rewarding as they have been, none were the destination – until I moved to Maui. Until I discovered my Hawaiian ancestral roots, both the people and the land. Since I arrived on Maui roughly 30 years ago, I have been accumulating information that, unrecognized by me, was slowly filling in the blank spaces of my life, forming the connections I needed to truly understand this journey of discovery. I am at peace with the life that I have created for myself here on Maui, with my familial relationships, my formed relationships, my career, and my future. This book is the story of my journey.
The Journey to Find – Myself
INTRODUCTION
I am one of those people who envy others who can recall their childhood. You see, I have few, if any memories of my childhood until the sixth grade. Although I remember some of my elementary teachers’ names and the layout of my elementary school, I do not remember classes or students or any work that we did. I remember my parents and my siblings within the context of our home, and the kids on our street with whom we played. Very few specific moments, events, adventures; a day at the beach with the family, our old cars, playing hide-n-seek with the neighbor kids.
In 6th grade my teachers convinced my parents to allow me to apply to a private school where I would find more challenges in my education. I was accepted to the school and remember feeling proud and happy at my new school. Still, I did not feel like I fit in well with the other kids. One would say that I flourished at this school, and I did. I was an academic success, but a social nothing. During high school I began stretching myself to do things that were not expected of a poor kid from Kalihi, a not so affluent but highly diverse neighborhood on Oahu. Since then, I have had many adventures, some of them handed to me, some of them by default due to my inaction, and others that I intentionally pursued.
Recently I was interviewed for a project conducted by Small Town Big Art here in Wailuku, Maui. Although I was not sure what I could contribute to the project that was aimed at collecting “sense of place” stories, by the time I left the nearly one-hour interview, lots of thoughts were floating in my mind. This morning, as I lay in bed during that period of drifting thoughts, I realized that my interview responses were really describing my life’s journey to find myself, to be in a place where I was comfortable in the skin I was born in and proud of the genes I had inherited. Someone once observed that I managed to change something in my life roughly every five years. As I thought about my interview and the stories I told there, I realized that I have spent my life trying on different “skins” and being different aspects of myself, all in search of an environment that would not only allow me to be who I truly am, but one that would also nurture me as I live and continue to grow. Some might say I was searching for an environment that would allow me to “live up to my potential”.
In the end, I must acknowledge that the many twists and turns in my life were merely touchstones along my journey. Positive, uplifting, and rewarding as they have been, none were the destination – until I moved to Maui. Until I discovered my Hawaiian ancestral roots, both the people and the land. Since I arrived on Maui roughly 30 years ago, I have been accumulating information that, unrecognized by me, was slowly filling in the blank spaces of my life, forming the connections I needed to truly understand this journey of discovery. I am at peace with the life that I have created for myself here on Maui, with my familial relationships, my formed relationships, my career, and my future. This book is the story of my journey.